Narrative
I rewrote most of the script, and wrote the narrative in three forms: one as back and forth dialogue between the two astronauts, Paloma (our protagonist) and Lucrezia (going by Luce). One as Paloma and the player-insert, a commanding voice that Paloma has materialised in her mind since beginning her space travels.  The last form is in the second person, with Paloma's mind monster narrating.

Mechanics
I added a couple of new Twine functions that I hadn't used before.  One of these functions was having multiple choices for the player-insert's responses to Paloma: three links would be presented. When the player clicked any of one of them, the other two would disappear and subsequent lines would be revealed.